By Sonia Sawhney, San Jose, California, United States
I went through life and realized that I was entering my midlife. Time was going by very fast.
Let’s change the notion that our creativity peaks in our young age. With my engineering background and a few years of work experience in the industry, I went against the norm and made a choice to stay home with my kids. I faced a lot of criticism and was told that I defamed my parents by staying home and wasting my education. Did I fail the expectations of my parents ? As time passed and I settled in my role as a homemaker , going back to the workplace took a back burner. I had a decent social life and a happy family. I thought I had released my frustrations and regret but they were actually embedded deep inside me.
I reinvented myself at an age when people are planning their retirement. Did I overcome ? Yea I had, I definitely felt accomplished.
And then in 2002, I lost my mom. She just suddenly left us and something in me died with her. I developed a feeling of remorse, a strong feeling that I couldn’t prove myself to my mom who had great expectations from me, while she was with us. I went into a shell for some time and forgot how to fight my inner obstacles. My mind was full of noise , there was no place for calm emotions. Then came my second son who got me busier and I had no time to dwell on my negative emotions.
I went through life and realized that I was entering my midlife. Time was going by very fast. One night as I sat talking with my older one, I expressed my desire to do something. And my older one suggested that I get back into art. The idea seemed too far fetched but somehow I went ahead and grabbed it and started painting again. I felt totally revitalized and happy. Reinventing myself at this age liberated me from my inner critic and empowered me to feel and act with full confidence. My work started getting appreciation and I continued learning new styles and techniques.
My art helped me release the past and helped me to emotionally repair myself.
As a small business owner, I had my share of highs and lows. I went through periods when I put in effort and didn’t see any returns. What pushed me through these times were a handful of people who told me that I was their inspiration. People started telling me how proud they were of me since I broke all norms of the midlife crisis. I reinvented myself at an age when people are planning their retirement. Did I overcome ? Yea I had , I definitely felt accomplished. I was beginning to fulfill my most unexpressed talents and dreams. I was removing the barriers that I had built in my inner self. I had chosen to change my life at this point. I felt so much at ease and the calm I used to look for earlier was within my reach now.
Wherever my mom is, she shall be proud what my accomplishments. Yes I do believe that strongly.
I am learning to learn. For those who have served their families and have kids who have flown the nest, now is the time to revive your passion. Just go out there and explore new forms of expression. Follow your dream and do something for your own self now.
Let go of your ego, be ready to absorb again and you will see that your wounds will heal. Creativity will unearth the deepest treasures of late life. Change the rhythm of your life. Learn to dream again , set new goals and strive to achieve them.
Instead of fixating on “ Days gone by” and getting depressed, why not look forward to the next phase with optimism?