Chapter 4: Networking and Professional Events
Networking in America often begins with a simple conversation. People meet at conferences, community gatherings, business receptions, professional associations, nonprofit events, workshops, and programs such as Sanj Talks. They introduce themselves, ask what brought someone to the event, exchange ideas, and sometimes agree to continue the conversation later.
American networking language includes many expressions that are not entirely clear from their literal meanings. Someone may want to “break the ice,” “work the room,” or “make the rounds.” A new acquaintance may say, “We should connect,” while a colleague may offer to “put in a good word.” After the event, someone may “reach out” or “follow up.”
Understanding these expressions can help newcomers participate more comfortably in professional and community events. However, successful networking is not about collecting the largest number of contacts or asking every influential person for help. It is about having respectful conversations, learning about others, sharing useful knowledge, and developing relationships gradually.
The following 15 expressions are frequently heard at American networking and professional events.
1. Break the Ice
Meaning: Begin a conversation or activity that helps people feel more comfortable with one another.
When it is used: People use this expression when meeting for the first time, beginning a group discussion, entering an unfamiliar social setting, or reducing tension in a quiet room.
Example:
“The host asked everyone to introduce themselves to help break the ice.”
Appropriate for: Networking events, workshops, conferences, community gatherings, meetings, interviews, and social occasions.
Use carefully: An icebreaker should be welcoming and easy to answer. Avoid beginning with questions about age, income, immigration status, health, politics, religion, family planning, or other personal subjects unless the setting clearly makes the topic appropriate.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: No physical ice needs to be broken. The “ice” represents the initial distance, formality, or discomfort between people who do not yet know one another.
Clear alternative: “Let’s begin with introductions so everyone feels more comfortable.”
2. Work the Room
Meaning: Move around an event and speak with many different people, often for networking, relationship building, public engagement, or professional visibility.
When it is used: A business owner, community leader, candidate, salesperson, host, or public figure may “work the room” by greeting attendees and participating in several conversations.
Example:
“Before the program begins, I’m going to work the room and introduce myself to some of the other guests.”
Appropriate for: Business receptions, conferences, community events, fundraisers, trade shows, professional gatherings, and social occasions.
Use carefully: Working the room should not mean interrupting conversations, distributing sales materials without permission, or treating people according to their titles or perceived usefulness. A thoughtful conversation with a few people may be more valuable than collecting many business cards.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The expression does not usually mean performing physical work on the room itself. It means intentionally circulating and interacting with attendees.
Clear alternative: “I’m going to circulate and speak with some of the other guests.”
3. Make the Rounds
Meaning: Move through a place or group to visit, greet, check on, or speak with several people.
When it is used: A host may make the rounds to welcome guests. An attendee may make the rounds before leaving. The phrase is also used in hospitals, workplaces, and other settings where someone visits several locations or people.
Example:
“I’m going to make the rounds and say hello to everyone before the panel begins.”
Appropriate for: Professional events, community gatherings, conferences, celebrations, offices, and hospitality settings.
Use carefully: “Make the rounds” is similar to “work the room,” but it can sound less strategic and more social. In either case, avoid ending conversations abruptly simply because you want to meet more people.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: “Rounds” does not necessarily refer to circular objects or a competition. The expression means moving among several people or places.
Clear alternative: “I’m going to greet the other attendees.”
4. Put in a Good Word
Meaning: Say something positive about a person to someone who may be able to help, consider, hire, invite, recommend, or support that person.
When it is used: A colleague may put in a good word for someone applying for a job, seeking an introduction, requesting membership in an organization, or being considered for an opportunity.
Example:
“I know the event organizer. I’d be happy to put in a good word for you.”
Appropriate for: Employment, professional introductions, volunteer opportunities, community participation, business relationships, and informal recommendations.
Use carefully: A good word is usually an informal expression of support, not a guarantee. The person offering it should speak truthfully and should not exaggerate someone’s qualifications. The recipient must still follow the normal application, review, or selection process.
Do not pressure someone to recommend you when they do not know your work well enough to do so credibly. A person’s reputation may be affected by the recommendations they make.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The speaker is not offering one particular positive word. The phrase means communicating a favorable opinion about someone.
Clear alternative: “I would be willing to recommend you informally.”
5. It’s a Small World
Meaning: It is surprising to discover an unexpected connection, shared acquaintance, common experience, or coincidence.
When it is used: People often say this after learning that they know the same person, attended the same school, worked at the same company, lived in the same place, or have another unexpected connection.
Example:
“You worked with Anita in Chicago? She was my neighbor for five years. It’s a small world!”
Appropriate for: Networking conversations, introductions, community events, travel discussions, and casual social interactions.
Use carefully: The expression is normally friendly and harmless. However, do not reveal confidential information or assume that two people have a close relationship merely because they know each other.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The speaker is not making a scientific claim about the physical size of the world. The phrase expresses surprise about an unexpected human connection.
Clear alternative: “What an unexpected connection!”
6. We Should Connect
Meaning: We should exchange contact information, speak again, or explore a possible professional relationship.
When it is used: People may say this after discovering shared interests, working in related fields, or identifying a possible reason to continue a conversation.
Example:
“We both work with small businesses in the Bay Area. We should connect.”
Appropriate for: Networking events, conferences, professional introductions, LinkedIn conversations, community gatherings, and business meetings.
Use carefully: “We should connect” often expresses friendly interest, but it is not always a firm commitment. If you genuinely want to continue the relationship, suggest a clear next step.
For example: “Would you be comfortable exchanging contact information?” or “May I send you the article we discussed?”
Do not add someone to a mailing list merely because they gave you a business card or connected with you on LinkedIn. Ask permission before sending ongoing promotional messages.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: “Connect” may mean anything from adding each other on LinkedIn to arranging a detailed meeting. The context and follow-up determine what the speaker intends.
Clear alternative: “I’d like to continue this conversation. May I have your contact information?”
7. Let’s Stay in Touch
Meaning: Let us continue communicating after this meeting or event.
When it is used: People often say this at the end of a conversation, conference, visit, project, course, or professional relationship.
Example:
“I enjoyed learning about your community program. Let’s stay in touch.”
Appropriate for: Professional events, workplace transitions, community gatherings, conferences, classes, and social conversations.
Use carefully: The phrase may express sincere interest, ordinary politeness, or both. It does not specify how frequently the people will communicate. If continued contact matters, follow up with a relevant message rather than repeatedly sending general greetings or promotional material.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: “Touch” does not refer to physical contact. It means continuing to communicate periodically.
Clear alternative: “I hope we can continue communicating after the event.”
8. I’ve Heard Great Things About You
Meaning: Other people have spoken positively about your work, character, reputation, accomplishments, or contributions.
When it is used: This expression may be used during an introduction when the speaker already knows something favorable about the other person.
Example:
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard great things about the work your organization is doing with local students.”
Appropriate for: Professional introductions, networking events, business meetings, community gatherings, and welcoming a new colleague.
Use carefully: Use the expression only when it is true. If possible, identify the subject rather than making a broad statement that may sound insincere.
For example: “Maria told me about the mentorship program you developed” is more specific than simply saying, “I’ve heard great things about you.”
Avoid sharing private comments or identifying a source who expected the conversation to remain confidential.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The phrase generally means that the speaker has received positive information from other people. It does not necessarily mean that the speaker has personally reviewed or verified everything about the person.
Clear alternative: “Several people have spoken very positively about your community work.”
9. What Brings You Here?
Meaning: What is your reason for attending this event, visiting this place, or participating in this gathering?
When it is used: This is a common conversation starter at conferences, receptions, community programs, business events, workshops, and social gatherings.
Example:
“What brings you here? Are you involved with one of the organizations participating today?”
Appropriate for: Networking events, professional gatherings, community programs, conferences, and many social situations.
Use carefully: At an event, this usually means, “Why did you decide to attend?” In another context, it could ask why someone has traveled to a city, visited an office, or entered a particular place.
Ask the question with genuine interest and listen to the answer. It should not feel like an attempt to determine whether the person is important enough to speak with.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The speaker is not normally asking who physically transported the person to the location. The question asks about the person’s purpose or interest.
Clear alternative: “What interested you in attending this event?”
10. How Do You Two Know Each Other?
Meaning: What relationship, experience, organization, workplace, or person connects the two of you?
When it is used: Someone may ask this after meeting two people who appear to be acquainted.
Example:
“How do you two know each other?”
“We served on the same nonprofit board several years ago.”
Appropriate for: Professional events, introductions, community gatherings, dinners, celebrations, and social conversations.
Use carefully: The question is usually friendly, but it can occasionally touch on private personal history. Allow people to answer briefly without requesting more details. Do not assume that they are friends, colleagues, relatives, or romantic partners.
A more neutral version is: “Have you known each other for long?” However, even that question may not always be appropriate.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The question asks about the origin or nature of the connection between two people.
Clear alternative: “What is your connection to each other?”
11. Let Me Introduce You
Meaning: I would like to help you and another person meet and begin a conversation.
When it is used: A host, colleague, friend, or mutual acquaintance may offer an introduction when two people share an interest, profession, community connection, or possible reason to know each other.
Example:
“You’re both involved in youth education. Let me introduce you.”
Appropriate for: Networking events, conferences, professional meetings, community gatherings, social occasions, and email introductions.
Use carefully: A thoughtful introduction explains why the two people might benefit from meeting.
For example: “Priya, this is Daniel. You both work on community mental wellness programs, and I thought you might enjoy meeting.”
When making an introduction by email, ask permission before sharing personal contact information, particularly if the recipient does not know the other person. An introduction creates an opportunity to communicate; it does not require either person to form a partnership, provide assistance, or accept a meeting.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The speaker is offering to help begin the connection, not necessarily recommending or endorsing either person.
Clear alternative: “I’d like you to meet someone who shares your interest in youth education.”
12. Follow Up
Meaning: Communicate or take additional action after an earlier conversation, meeting, request, event, or task.
When it is used: People follow up by sending information, checking progress, answering a question, confirming a decision, thanking someone, or continuing a conversation.
Example:
“It was good meeting you at the event. I’ll follow up tomorrow with the resource I mentioned.”
Appropriate for: Emails, telephone calls, networking, customer service, project management, interviews, sales, healthcare, and almost every professional setting.
Use carefully: A useful follow-up should have a purpose. Mention where you met, refer to the conversation, and provide the information or next step you promised.
Repeated messages may become unwelcome if the other person has not responded. The appropriate number and frequency of follow-ups depend on the situation. A hiring decision, unpaid invoice, emergency, or scheduled project may require more persistence than a casual networking conversation.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: “Follow” does not mean physically walking behind someone. The expression means continuing communication or taking the next action.
Clear alternative: “I will contact you tomorrow with the information we discussed.”
13. Reach Out
Meaning: Contact someone to ask a question, offer assistance, share information, begin a conversation, or maintain a relationship.
When it is used: People commonly use this expression in emails, workplace communication, networking, customer service, recruiting, and community outreach.
Example:
“Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about the program.”
Appropriate for: Professional emails, networking messages, customer communication, invitations, support services, and collaborative work.
Use carefully: “Reach out” has become extremely common and may sound vague. If you are making a specific request, state it clearly.
Instead of saying, “I’m reaching out regarding an opportunity,” explain the opportunity and what response you are requesting. Also recognize that contacting someone does not create an obligation for that person to reply, meet, make an introduction, or provide assistance.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The speaker is not asking someone to extend an arm physically. The phrase simply means making contact.
Clear alternative: “Please contact me if you have any questions.”
14. Pick Your Brain
Meaning: Ask someone for ideas, knowledge, experience, or advice about a subject.
When it is used: A person may use this expression when speaking with someone who has relevant professional knowledge or firsthand experience.
Example:
“You’ve organized several community events. Could I pick your brain sometime about choosing a venue?”
Appropriate for: Informal professional conversations, mentoring relationships, networking, brainstorming, and discussions among colleagues.
Use carefully: The expression is common but very informal. Some people dislike it because it sounds unpleasant or because it can suggest that their expertise should be available without limits or compensation.
Respect the person’s time. Ask a focused question, explain how much time you need, and make it easy for the person to decline.
For example: “Would you have 15 minutes next week to share your perspective on selecting an event venue? I completely understand if your schedule does not allow it.”
If you need extensive professional advice, consulting, coaching, legal guidance, design work, or technical help, ask whether the person provides a paid service rather than expecting free assistance.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: The expression does not refer to physically touching or removing anything from someone’s brain. It means asking for knowledge or ideas.
Clear alternative: “May I ask for your advice about choosing an event venue?”
15. Know the Right People
Meaning: Have relationships with people who possess relevant knowledge, influence, authority, access, or the ability to help with a particular goal.
When it is used: Someone may say that career advancement, business development, community participation, event access, or another opportunity depends partly on knowing the right people.
Example:
“Experience is important, but knowing the right people can sometimes help you learn about opportunities.”
Appropriate for: Informal discussions about networking, careers, business, community relationships, and access to opportunities.
Use carefully: The phrase can imply that personal connections matter more than qualifications, fairness, or established procedures. In some situations, relationships do help people learn about opportunities or receive introductions. However, knowing someone should not replace eligibility requirements, independent evaluation, ethical decision-making, or formal approval.
It is also better to think of the “right people” as people with shared interests, useful knowledge, or relevant responsibilities—not simply people with status, wealth, or influence. A meaningful connection may be with a volunteer, specialist, customer, neighbor, student, community organizer, or emerging professional.
What a newcomer might misunderstand: “Right” does not necessarily mean morally correct. In this expression, it means relevant or well-positioned for a particular purpose.
Clear alternative: “Building relationships with people in the relevant field can help you learn about opportunities.”
Networking Is a Conversation, Not a Transaction
Professional networking can become uncomfortable when every conversation appears to contain an immediate request. A person introduces themselves and, within seconds, asks for a job, investment, customer referral, speaking position, sponsorship, recommendation, or introduction to someone influential.
A better first conversation usually focuses on understanding the other person.
You might ask:
- “What interested you in today’s subject?”
- “What kind of work are you involved in?”
- “How did you become interested in that field?”
- “What is your organization currently working on?”
- “What have you found most useful about the event?”
- “Is there a particular community issue you care about?”
- “What kinds of people are you hoping to meet?”
Listen carefully instead of waiting for an opportunity to present your own accomplishments. A conversation becomes more meaningful when both people have space to speak.
You can share what you do without turning the exchange into a sales presentation. A short introduction is usually enough:
“My name is Elena. I work with small businesses on financial planning, and I’m here because I’m interested in learning more about local entrepreneurship.”
This tells the other person who you are, what you do, and why you attended. If they are interested, they can ask another question.
Entering and Leaving Group Conversations
At networking events, people often stand in small groups. Joining an existing conversation can feel difficult, especially when everyone appears to know one another.
Begin by observing the group’s body language. A group standing in a loose circle with open space may be welcoming new participants. A pair speaking quietly, standing close together, or discussing a sensitive matter may prefer privacy.
When the moment feels appropriate, you can say:
- “Hello, would you mind if I joined you?”
- “I heard you discussing the panel. What did you think of it?”
- “Hi, I’m Daniel. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
- “Hello, I’m attending for the first time. How are you connected with the event?”
If you are already in a group, help make room for someone standing nearby. A simple “Please join us” can help another person feel welcome.
You may also need to end a conversation so that both people can meet others. You can do this politely:
- “I’ve enjoyed speaking with you. I’m going to make the rounds before the program begins.”
- “Thank you for telling me about your work. I hope we can continue the conversation another time.”
- “I don’t want to take all your time, but I’m glad we had a chance to meet.”
- “I’m going to say hello to the host before the program starts. It was a pleasure meeting you.”
Leaving politely is normal at a networking event. It does not necessarily indicate a lack of interest.
Making Thoughtful Introductions
Introductions are one of the most valuable contributions a person can make at a professional or community gathering. A good introduction helps people understand why they may want to speak with each other.
Instead of saying only, “You two should talk,” provide useful context:
“Marcus, let me introduce you to Aisha. She coordinates a mentoring program for high school students. Aisha, Marcus works with several local technology companies that provide employee volunteers.”
This gives both people a starting point without promising any particular outcome.
Before making a more substantial introduction, especially by email, consider asking both people for permission:
“I know someone who has experience with that issue. Would you like me to ask whether she is open to an introduction?”
This approach respects privacy, time, and professional boundaries. It also prevents a person from unexpectedly receiving a message or request they did not agree to consider.
An introduction should not be presented as an endorsement unless you genuinely intend to provide one. Connecting two people means only that you believe a conversation may be useful.
Following Up After an Event
A good follow-up message does not need to be long. Send it reasonably soon while the conversation is still easy to remember.
For example:
“Hello Maya, it was a pleasure meeting you at the community leadership event on Sunday. I enjoyed our conversation about volunteer mentoring. Here is the resource I mentioned. I hope we can stay in touch.”
A useful follow-up generally includes:
- Your name
- Where you met
- The subject you discussed
- Any promised information
- A reasonable next step, if one was discussed
Personalize the message. Sending the same promotional email to everyone you met can weaken the connection rather than strengthen it.
If you would like another conversation, make a clear but limited request:
“Would you be available for a 20-minute phone conversation sometime next week? I would enjoy learning more about your community program.”
The other person may decline, delay, or not respond. That does not necessarily mean the original conversation was insincere. People have different schedules, priorities, and communication habits.
Respecting Professional Boundaries
Networking does not automatically entitle anyone to another person’s time, contacts, reputation, or influence.
Before asking someone to “put in a good word,” “make an introduction,” or allow you to “pick their brain,” consider:
- Does this person know me or my work well enough?
- Is my request specific and reasonable?
- Can the person comfortably decline?
- Am I asking for confidential or restricted information?
- Does the request involve substantial unpaid professional work?
- Have I shown interest in the relationship beyond what I want to receive?
- Would making this introduction create an obligation or reputational risk for the other person?
- Is there a formal process I should use instead?
Respectful networking recognizes that every person has boundaries. A gracious response to “I’m not able to help with that” protects the relationship.
Conversations and Connections at Sanj Talks
The focus on conversations and connections makes Sanj Talks a natural setting for practicing thoughtful networking. Attendees may include entrepreneurs, professionals, nonprofit representatives, creators, educators, community leaders, specialists, and people simply interested in the day’s subject.
You do not need an impressive title or a prepared sales pitch to participate. You can begin with an ordinary question:
- “What brings you here?”
- “Have you attended a Sanj Talks event before?”
- “What did you think about the conversation?”
- “Are you involved with this issue in your work or community?”
- “Is there someone here you would like to meet?”
The purpose is not to speak with only the most prominent person in the room. Someone you meet may offer knowledge, a different perspective, a useful resource, or a meaningful connection. You may also have an experience, idea, or introduction that helps someone else.
A successful event does not have to produce an immediate customer, job, partnership, interview, sale, sponsorship, or publicity opportunity. It may simply result in a valuable conversation, a better understanding of a community issue, or a relationship that develops over time.
Clear Language Is Always Acceptable
You do not need to use networking expressions to communicate successfully. Plain language may be more comfortable and more precise.
You can say:
- “Let’s introduce ourselves” instead of “Let’s break the ice.”
- “I’m going to greet some other guests” instead of “I’m going to work the room.”
- “I would be willing to recommend you” instead of “I’ll put in a good word.”
- “May I have your contact information?” instead of “We should connect.”
- “I hope we can continue communicating” instead of “Let’s stay in touch.”
- “What interested you in this event?” instead of “What brings you here?”
- “I will contact you tomorrow” instead of “I’ll follow up.”
- “Please contact me if you have questions” instead of “Feel free to reach out.”
- “May I ask for your advice?” instead of “Can I pick your brain?”
- “Building relevant relationships may help” instead of “You need to know the right people.”
Understanding common American networking expressions can make professional events feel more approachable. Using the expressions yourself is optional. Curiosity, respect, careful listening, appropriate follow-up, and a willingness to help others will create stronger connections than any collection of networking phrases.
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